We had work of our own to do. They're only driven by their biology and what feels good or what makes them feel "alive" which sadly, means drama. My adult sons girlfriend hates me (jealous, father, person, member It's a hormone thing in many people. We will love you always. The pros and cons of social media (like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, and Tumblr) on teenagers. This is why it's essential to listen to the people who know you best and love you most (like your siblings . bingskee from Quezon City, Philippines on July 10, 2010: though i find it funny that a hub will be discussing something about this, i find the tips very useful as well. The "boundaries" you put in place made good sense in terms of wanting them to focus on their exams, for the benefit of both of them, and as a very temporary move. My father passed away the day before Mother's day . In the beginning sge was living by those two rules. The real issue is not about accepting your son's girlfriend, but rather accepting the choices that you as the parent make. My girlfriend and i we've been dating for 5 months now, I've been the kind of guy to take photos to preserve memories and all, but my girlfriend doesn't like her pictures taken by me. But once you say this, don't harp on it or bring it up continually. He may make mistakes. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the things that have transpired through those years.first off, my son never officially introduced me to this woman. Then, you can continue to express the positives that your girlfriend adds to your life. fintech startups internship; did jimi hendrix play at harlem cultural festival 1969? Your email address will not be published. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. Why? In a gentle manner, make it clear to your mother that you and the mother of your child will be married soon. I can't support this relationship any more and he doesn't get it! This girlfriend of your son's doesn't sound like she would make a good mother or will make him happy in the long run. Like taking my younger sons things and hiding them in her dresser, stupid things like his hair gel and she seems extremely jealous of my younger sons close relationship with Tyler. Sometimes, a young kid/man chooses only to see the good parts of a girl, totally ignoring the obvious red flags for a variety of reasons. As the mother of your child and your future wife, she deserves your loyalty and devotion. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); My Sons Girlfriend Is Manipulative 3 Ways To Cope, on My Sons Girlfriend Is Manipulative 3 Ways To Cope, 1. I didn't smother her with love just showed her that she was special. So I said, okay.. My son is now with an old woman, closer to my age than his. Kids, especially teens in their first relationship, may not recognize the signs of a toxic relationship. If I were you, I would be humble enough to apologize to my son. Now this woman is expecting us to resolve her issues. I phoned him, he said, he wasn't leaving her and she had chosen him. He is going to hang on until she or he discover that there is more out there than each other. He is still dependent on us, only has a part time job, just finished school, starting uni and her influence of always needing him & her party lifestyle is rubbing off. I have relived the last 1-1/2 years over and over in my mind. I would say some of the things here but I don't want to offend anyone. Your son reacts negatively or flinches in her presence. We did this due to her poor attitude and disrespect towards me and my fiance. They would argue and fight. She said she heard a girl laughing and when she look over the window, she saw them, my son and the girl helping my boy doing his laundry. Its vital to have this sit-down immediately when you suspect any of the manipulative signs. Parents may see through their sons girlfriend, but there are other red flags keep an eye on. We have enjoyed a good relationship for the past 18 months with our son, he has telephoned me everyday, visited his grandparents and us, now he's ignoring us all again. What concerns me is that this new woman and son moved near me without her resolving her financial situation in the other state and that this new woman claims that my son would have her hide in the closet when my ex-spouse and his step mom would visit him. My girlfriend's son makes it clear he doesn't like me and my son One must choose wisely, and there is an old adage to "go into marriage with both eyes open. But the thing is, Only the two of them in the house! Am I in the wrong? She always says speaks positively about my whole family but I know exactly what is going on in the background. Sometimes, there is no way to save your loved one from his mistakes (and life is for learning and one tends to learn best through making mistakes). Good luck. I Found Out My Son's Girlfriend Said She Hated Me - Mamas Uncut I've never been invited into the house, I have to sit in the car on the side of the road. They moved near me with her baby was about 3 months of age. We were trying to give him support until he found his first professional job. Anything I say or do is considered wrong and I no longer know how to behave . And her son came running home: Chimp Stealing Kitten Dream Interpretation, http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art30033.asp. Concentrate on your relationship with him. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on October 07, 2014: This is not a blog but a "hub" or article that uses one of the Hubpages templates. 12 Dating Red Flags to Share with Your Son - Her View From Home Why would my son stay with a girl that threatened to beat my butt and call me horrible names? I don't know if you read about my dream but the best thing you can do is to remind your son always about your love for him and that is a love that will never end or change. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and so she can continue being the sweet, considerate future daughter-in-law and melt away your mother's disapproval with kindness in time. She cussed me and called me horrible names. You kicked him out. The woman has been on unemployment since sometime in the early days of her pregnancy and has allowed the property she owns jointly with her childs father to foreclose. is it normal for mothers to get jealous and mistreat the girlfriend, even though I've never disrespected their rules and wants for their son? She is always asking my son to ask me to help them and her financially. She told me her daughter is a chronic liar and makes things up. Well, he told her and the woman blasted my sweet friend (and me) on social media so that the world could see!! They attended our sons high school graduation as well as his party. It was his first girlfriend. If he is willing to risk his career, relinquish his faith, marry beneath or above his station or even give up his wish to have children, he will have to live with the consequences. So When my niece told me that, I asked him if the girl came to the house.. but he denied it! I feel about it! Parenting teenagers is not easy, but understanding the issues they struggle with can help everyone involved. But it is gonna be a hard task to accomplish. In turn that left us having to beat on the door asking her to please get up and leave. Do you have a favorite board game to play next time? "Mom, this girl makes me happy." I say then support the girlfriend don't put up with ugly behavior from your son towards women. And since I had not ever met her, she would reply to my son and my private conversations PUBLICLY on social media (repeatedly). While I still stand behind my suggestions in the article, there are times when you have to make a choice between risking a relationship with your son or having to standby helplessly to watch him suffer. Say nothing critical or they will resent you. Why not invite them both to join you and your family for dinner. I treated her like a daughter (I don't have a daughter). Instead of losing your son, you may gain a daughter and even a very good friend. When he does come by to grab closes he says hello mom and closea the door in my face. He doesn't have to meet your approval or work against it. my sons girlfriend doesn t like me - curiosbettysa.com Bryanne Salazar. I told my son that I would love him forever and when he chose a bride, I'd back him up no matter what road he decided to walk but to be sure about his choice and to know if a girl truly loves him and will make him happy and be a great mother to his children. How would you feel if your own son's girlfriend called you names? My greatest concern is for my grandson. But you'll be the one who has to live with your choice for the rest of your life. Chances are he's going to keep being abusive to his girlfriends until he chooses to change. He began to see our points, and he broke up with this girl. Up until then, my son and I could talk about any and everything and we would talk for hours. Her mother sees your disapproval as meddling and controlling your son's life. I can't help but think that your son isn't capable of making sound decisions for himself let alone his son. She's nice before and always greet and smile to me whenever we meet. A grandmother writes in asking for advice after she thought she was doing right by her son's girlfriend when she purchases all they could ever need for their now 7-month-old child. When I told my son that a woman who does not cook for herself, will not cook for you, he replied "women don't cook anymore." But One day, my niece (she's my neighbor) was staying home. Girlfriends come and go. If this girl is important to him than she is important to you, too. Indeed, it must be very difficult for you to witness the neglect of your grandchild. Why rush?". We'd love to add it to our calendar. Just be matter-of-fact instead of angry or accusatory. If Your Significant Other Doesn't Like Your Family, Here's What To Do I know you have concerns about your son getting into a serious relationship so young, but isn't your top priority your son's happiness? The right girl will bring more love and joy to the family as the family grows. Is there anything you want to tell us? I have addressed this too asking him to look after his body as it also makes me very allergic when even clothing is brought into the house with nicotine traces. Mom Accused of Hosting Teen Sex Parties 'Tore my Life Apart - People If she heartlessly uses your sons emotions to make him agree to her terms. Sometimes, mothers assume their children know they are loved but it is important to express it in words as well as actions. DBS MORNING SHOW & OBITUARIES 25TH APRIL 2023 APRIL 2023 - Facebook Just love your son so he will never forsake you for anyone. My sons girl friend hates us. We both enjoyed the same things and had so much to talk about, we became friends pretty quickly before that and it just kinda spiraled into us dating. Set a particular time they shouldnt be outside. Some first loves are destined to be "the one" while others eventually dissolve as each person involved matures. I haven't said anything cos I don't want to hurt my son and put him in the middle of something that he is not responsible for. does gopuff accept ebt cards. Your disapproval. Hi Doc, my Son is 18 and his girlfriend is the same age. And he'll be taking care of her. If there is friction, it is caused by her. And instead of providing your opinions, point out the indisputable facts. It is always up to us to start the conversation. ParentalQuestions.com 2021 All rights reserved. I returned the last month rent she paid (that is how bad I wanted her out). If they are meant to be together, there is nothing you can do about it. My son wants to tell me and he has an expectation that I should welcome her with open arms (she has never been welcome in my home). The final nail in that relationship was ahe cheated on him with his best friend! Although it is disheartening, it also gives me a sense of support - as this subject has been one that has been very difficult to handle for the past 2 years in my house. Please note that I have not informed my girlfriend of this as it will hurt her heart. He hasn't married her yet. and just got engaged to this girl against what his family thinks! Son's girlfriend doesn't like me | Health24 My advice to you is to be non-confrontational about his relationship. If they aren't, let time run its course. He will want to make his "own" decisions. Your family cell phone policy should include limits on cell phones at night and at school, and you should monitor cell phone contacts for young kids. massage overland park. If he is okay with that, then that's fine but he needs to provide that roof over her head. lumberjack breakfast calories. 10 Things Your Son's Girlfriend Wants You To Know - Woman's Day she has anxiety issues and panic attacks and these are exacerbated by any contact with me. I asked my son if there's something between him and the girl, but he said they're just friends. Tiredofthinkingmom on September 05, 2017: Lou--- yes sir we are living that now good God she may be the twin of our sons gf! Don't force him to choose between you and the girl. Did you criticize them a lot? Published Jun 16, 2015. In fact, shower your mother with lots of love and attention when your new wife is around so she will associate your wife with good times and loving feelings from her son. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family I'm afraid we have failed miserably with my son's recent girlfriend. There is so much more to this, but all I can tell you is that I think he has truly been brainwashed! She's the one with the closest relationships to all involved. My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the Not a very friendly person at all..she actually has made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Contact amy.frank@vpetalent.com with your story to apply. Its your parental responsibility to take action and start a conversation with your son about his manipulative partner. Also her parents love him, who wouldn't he is a great person, and are now starting to manipulate him too by giving him an allowance travel card. When You Don't Like Your Son's Girlfriend | Mom.com My ex-husband and I have both assisted my son during the custody battle with financial matters. We painted a picture of what family life with her as a wife and mother of his children would be like. His father and I have tried to reason with both of them. She made physical threats and destroyed any hope of acceptance again. I apologize for not checking in to respond to these comments (deaths in family and other medical issues). I need advice very badly because I feel like Im loosing it. On the other hand, my father likes my girlfriend a lot, he even called me and recently told me that my girlfriend checked him when he was admitted to hospital. The passing of his father, my husband had impacted us both and I believed we were always going to be close. My Sons Girlfriend Is Manipulative- Obvious Signs Parents Cant Ignore, 2. We have a 1 year old son together. Cus he loves her duhhh!! From then on, be kind and open-hearted towards her and her parents. Needs constant contact, validation, and attention. Hopefully, your son can get some counseling because he's overstepped into territory that is out of your area of expertise. But I believe he condoned her prostitution. He has no contact with his own young teen sister other that to be nasty & derogatory. Instead, I would open dialogue gently. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. She is foul mouthed and I mean drops the f-bomb like its candy even in from of us. Why else would a decent young man tolerate a girl who mistreats or disrespects his parents whom he loves? 8. Don't baby him. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. So when he graduated she "supported" him by prostituting I believe - because after I found out that she would be in my home whenever my husband and I were at work, I put him out. A parent lets go of her child at several stages of development, allowing the child to grow up and eventually become independent. So I made the mistake of telling him what I thought of her and there it all began. Unfortunately, that was the beginning of his down fall. My husband ignore what he saw but he told me about it. #533: Can I bar my son's unlikeable girlfriend from family events? Whenever I would tell my son anything, he then went back and told her about it. Everyone has value. They come in and the girlfriend holds up a pregnancy test. We then see pics of he and his girlfriend hanging out at the park, or movies, or with her family (taken on the same day as the one we tried to get together). we will never accept her we just don't know what to do. My son sent me tx message saying he was sorry that he lied to me! Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on November 04, 2015: Good for you, Bill. After Christmas last year he suddenly informed us that he found an apartment closer to her. The other family has total control over him and we do not know what to do either, but I have to thank God he is alive and we have still opportunities , as little as they may be, to talk to him nd let him know we love him. What would you suggest at this point? If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. Introducing your boyfriend to your parents is a nerve-wracking experience. To make matters worse, the car she arrived in was dirty and she made no effort to clean their hotel room up. Also, she was told that when my son leaves for work in the mornings, she must leave at the same time. The thing was I had purchased most of those outfits for my grandson who is three and was starting headstart within that month, so I knew they weren't her childs. Then, we told him that we loved him and if he was sure, we would back him up and love his wife, too, but before he made that choice, we begged him to listen to what we had to say. So the gift and dinner out with my mom and that I had planned were canceled. Young lovers are blind to serious red flags in their relationships which is why mothers become so alarmed when they see what they perceive to be poor choices, but its important to refrain from being petty. I don't know how she is feeling about me being in a serious relationship with her son, and I'm not going to confront her about the way she makes me feel, unwelcomed and sensing her jealousy.What do I do?? Parents may see through their sons girlfriend, but there are other red flags keep an eye on. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on March 13, 2018: To Gigi: You've already done something that I wouldn't have done. Please remember to keep everything positive and loving or your mother will accuse your new wife as the bringing of bad feelings or coming between mother and son. This is the mother of your child and the mother of her grandchild. They spoke emotionally about how starting in June 2020 through the spring of 2021, O'Connor allegedly hosted parties for her teenage son and his friends, "facilitating and watching" their sex acts . Sadly, especially sons, they do break away at some point. However, if he can learn from patterns in life, he must understand that ultimately, he cannot fix her. His girlfriend couldn't choose between them. She is having a problem mainly because my girlfriends family background is of a poor family. It's totally crappy and feels like a can't-win situation, but what happens between them is 100% out of your control. OTOH, I personally did not know anyone from my group of friends, or relatives, or coworkers around my age who owned a house by their "late 20s" and I can not think of any of my children's friends, co-workers adult children, nieces or nephews who owned a house before their early or mid 30s (or even later). What you might see as great experiences for young people may not be what he enjoys or wants to experience during his youth. But he is happy, and you did not mention anything about the girl or her parents having a negative impact on your son's life or happiness aside from his not living the way you think he should. You've set down solid foundations for him, and he is branching out and experimenting with his freedom. Another persons perspective might help him see his girlfriend for who she is. As time goes on, you can bring your girlfriend by too. He may feel awkward about being around her at the same time he is with his family. Required fields are marked *. We are in a day where accusations can and will destroy a person. He owes his other brothers between the two of them close to 8,000! Enough is enough take the shit that you came which is nothing and leave. Here is my advice: For the time being, don't fight against this girl or this relationship. He wants to be her champion. Her parents welcome your son because she is an only child and it is like gaining a second child, a son they never had. She translates your disapproval of the relationship as a rejection of her. I implore you all not to cut ties with your son for any reason. Her hurt will only add to the mess. Your continuing negativity will force your son to decide between you and her. Your son may be too hooked in love to understand that hes in an unhealthy relationship. But this is not just a girlfriend. They want to make their own decisions and live as they like. For the first 8 months we got along very well. Send out lots of love to him. The McIlhenny family is . "One reason why I fell in love with her is because she is a lot like you in that she is very caring and kind." Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on December 24, 2012: Don't make a big deal about their engagement. Accepting. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family Redirecting to /talk/behaviour_development/a1209810-Sons-girlfriend-doesnt-say-hello-to-me-or-my-wife-when-she-comes-to-our-home. It is hard to teach young ones that breaking up feels bad but it is better than breaking up when there is so much more at stake such as divorce and children. Please help me what to do and how would I feel better because I don't know what to say , I feel betrayed.. To pat -- Its YOUR house, you lovingly but firmly must set the rules. It's been a year now that I noticed this one girl, I think she's 15 or 16 yrs old, always come to our house to pet my dog. Then, something said, "Call to the kitten." Invasive or insensitive questions about the relationship, her personal life, or her background. AT THIS POINT I FEEL THAT I CAN ONLY PRAY THAT GOD WILL GET HIM AWAY FROM THIS HORRIBLE PERSON.I AM TRULY SADDENED AND DISAPPOINTED IN MY SON.PLEASE,GIVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE. When he said that, then I reacted, I said why?.. Confronting them will not likely end well. The signs might be clear, but most parents cant help but wonder why their kid is willingly dating a toxic partner. Look whos talking.. Of course your son would protect his girl! Always bragging. If she is trying to distance him from you or his family. How to Accept Your Son's Girlfriend - WeHaveKids Then there was the mornings she would stay in bed and my son trying to wake her but she wouldn't get up. Ask Amy: I don't like my son's girlfriend - Marin Independent Journal (Of course, it wasn't always that way with my son whose gf needed a place to stay for a while but she wasn't a problem so I let my mandate slide.). My Son's Girlfriend Is Manipulative - 3 Ways To Cope - Parental Questions She's 52 years old! Needy Nellie. His world will no longer revolve around her family's when you open your world up to include her. That is all. She is an only child and she also works at the same place of employment as our son. now he drinks, does weed and cigs. Building bridges takes time. In most cases. Since she returned home with her younger child, she has been working my son who suddenly thinks raising one child is doable and the other child is not coming. A woman that does not cook for herself, will not cook for a man. When we confronted my son with the info, he first pretended that he didn't know but through conversation we realized that he knew all along. As much as it hurts, you are all not alone in your situations.
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